It’s nearly Christmas. Like, in 3 days. I am sitting
on my sand-coloured bed, with open messy sun-bleached beach curls, a striped
loose tank top and beige shorts, and quite tanned and toned arms and legs. It’s
a windy day, and my sand-coloured curtains are moving in the breeze that comes in
through the open window. I can hear the ocean, the light clear bells of the wind
chimes in front of my window and the birds in the palm tree next to the house.
I can’t believe it’s going to be Christmas in, what, 3 days?
I feel so humble, and deeply satisfied. Almost every
day I find myself thinking how epic my life is. How amazing, and what an
adventure, to be alive. What a privilege to discover all the joys of this life,
all the pleasure and fun and wild sandy love. I am so deeply grateful for all
the experiences I have made in the last 30 years. I can’t and won’t deny any
more that traveling and working abroad, especially in Africa, is my huge
passion. It’s the love of my life. Living all those different lives, in
different places, meeting different people, it makes me feel so rich and so privileged. It makes me feel gorgeous
in my skin, my role and my purpose. I really tried to put my feet down, I
tried to “be normal”, live in a city, have a job and all that; it’s not me. I
have smelled and tasted freedom, and I can’t live in captivity any more. I just
can’t. I know you’re always being well fed and looked after as a captive
animal, and you have someone grooming your fur and making you look all shiny
and sassy and protect you from the weather, but the compromising is too tough.
I need to run, feel the wind, sun, and dust; I don’t need people who tell me I
need to settle down, earn money, take responsibility etc.! I don’t need fear in
my life! I basically just want to be free from fear and pressure, and any
person who inflicts one of the two (or both) on me is not good for me. I’m
going to keep it that simple. I want to fly and float and just breathe joy and
energy and this whole life, and I want to let go of that voice that tells me
“You should”. Why? Things flow. Things are good, smooth and effortless. I went
for an early little workout at the beach this morning, had a ride on the beach,
a nice little sleep on the dunes, green lunch, playing with horses in the surf,
and now I finished my Rooibos tea with Rice milk and will now go down to the
beach again, or actually the lagoon, where friends are having a bonfire. I
mean, what else could I wish for?
….much later that night: The bonfire was fantastic.
Having interesting conversations around a huge burning pile of driftwood,
sitting in the sand, sipping wine, ach man I love this lifestyle! I don’t,
really don’t want to leave Africa ever again. I can see why people prefer the
civilized life in cities, in Europe, in places with more rules and “safety”,
but I can’t trade my freedom for that any more. I could do without the ticks
and the very humid days. But that’s it really.